Twins. Triplets. Quadruplets. Quintuplets.
They make the most adorable book covers, don’t they?
Having multiple babies is a hook that romance readers keep asking for. Much like cowboy stories and billionaire stories.
But have you ever wondered what it’s really like to have two, three, four or more babies at once to look after?
Let me tell you. It’s not a romantic situation.
In fact, romance doesn’t even appear as a blip in a mother’s mind for the first year.
So, what does?
Survival.
Schedule.
Sleep.
Gone are the days of taking your time to get ready in the morning. Sipping your coffee and having a leisurely breakfast before you apply makeup and head out the door for your eight to ten hour a day job. Going out for drinks with work friends, or even a quick trip to the grocery store is history. And let’s not forget the long, hot daily shower. Yeah – that’s a luxury a mom of multiples forgoes. She’s on top of things if she manages to slip in the shower two or three times a week.
So, what’s a romance writer to do (since romance readers adore these kinds of stories)?
Five Things Parents of Twins Want Romance Writers to Know
Here are some things to remember if you’re writing a romance with your hero or heroine finding themselves suddenly with two or more babies…
- Not all twins or multiples are identical. Yeah – this is basic biology, but it’s surprising how often this one comes up. Boy/girl twins cannot be identical, and not all triplets, quads, or quints will be identical either. Babies that are identical all come from the same egg that splits.
- Developmental milestones are different than singletons (single baby) – there are various thoughts out there why this is. But, as a romance writer, factor in extra time for your milestones as the majority of multiple babies are born much earlier than singletons and fall far behind the average developmental milestone chart.
- There is no such thing as a quick trip to the store when you have multiples. Everyone and their aunt wants to stop you in the store, tell you how cute your babies are and how they had two kids eighteen months apart (so really, they understand what it’s like for you…). It seems that walking around with a tandem or multiples stroller is an invitation for people to talk at you (like, better you than me kind-of-talk), or to touch your babies. Also, there is no grocery cart big enough to fit two or more infant car seats inside plus your groceries. Some families are known to take two grocery carts into the store – one to corral the kids in and the other for food.
- Romance is not on a parent of multiples mind for at least the first six months to one year. These months are spent trying to figure out whom is who, what each baby wants/needs, how to tandem feed (yes – you read that correctly, breastfeeding or bottle feeding two or more babies at the same time), how to shop with the crew, how to fit everyone and the groceries in your compact car, and how to make everyone stop crying at the same time. Then, there’s the matter of changing diapers (do I wait to change them all at once or do I change them as they need it?), nap time (wake them all up and get them all down to sleep at the same time – you DO wake a sleeping baby when you have multiples), and play time (who do I pay attention to? Which bouncy chairs are the best so I can have five minutes to breathe?). Then there’s night-feeding your multiples with barely two hours of sleep between feedings, and the hundreds of loads of laundry to do (because with that many mouths to feed you can’t afford to buy more than a handful of outfits for each child). After six months, parents of multiples start emerging from the fog and begin thinking about daily showers again. And that the milk goes in the fridge, not in the cupboard.
- Schedule is a lifeline. When writing in multiples to your romance story, you must remember to include a schedule or at least have the appearance of one. This is something that is unique, but so vital, to the parents of multiples realm. It’s about surviving the first three years. If one of the little ones gets off that schedule, your heroine should be bawling her eyes out (because she’s worked so hard to get them there and knows how long it will take to get them back on the schedule) or canceling absolutely everything to get her child back on that schedule. The schedule is what makes it possible for a parent to go to the store. To go to the dentist. To go to the doctor or to the pharmacy. And for fun, it makes it possible to take the crew to the park (but don’t get me started on taking multiples to the park…that’s a whole other adventure!)
Where to Find Information
Too many times I’ve read romance stories with strong writing, a great premise, and an awful depiction of life with multiples.
Parents of multiples LOVE to be asked questions about life so that stories correctly depict their struggles. Everyone would agree that pictures of their multiples would make lovely book covers, but what goes into the story, isn’t always truth. It’s pure fiction.
When in doubt, contact the local multiple births organization to answer your questions.
You might be surprised what you learn.
Have you read a novel that depicts life with multiples well? What did you think?